It’s Just NO!
Photo Cred: Luvvie Ajayi Jones
By now you’re aware that acclaimed gymnast, still the G.O.A.T, Simon Biles initially decided to withdraw from competing for her individual medals at this year’s Olympics as well as having withdrawn from competing in the team event. You have also seen the news highlights where she did compete in one last event after taking a rest and earned a Bronze medal. I applaud her for saying “NO!” A lesson that many would do well to learn as we maneuver through life as a Black woman. We are expected to do and be all the things to everyone all the time EXCEPT ourselves. We don’t exist.
Luvvie Ajayi Jones said it perfectly, “Y’all not gone stress us out.” And I’d like to add, we’re done. We’re done coming to Olivia Pope everyone else’s shit and still be expected to walk tall and say nothing. If our young sister who is on the world’s stage can stop and put herself first, what do we have going on that is stopping us from doing the same? Real question. Take some time to sit with that. What is stopping you from just saying no? Is it children? Is it wanting acceptance? Is it tied to your paycheck, life insurance, some sort of benefactor? I understand that sometimes there are some real events that keep us in this mode of always having to go on when we’re physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. But the cycle must stop. You cannot pour from empty.
We are not even half-way through August and there is no time like the present to begin developing new habits for our mental well-being. Here are 5 things you can do to protect your mental health.
Monitor how you’re feeling. - This seems simple but sometimes we are quick to brush off how we are feeling or consider it as something small. Headaches are an indicator of quite a few medical concerns. Consistent headaches can be caused by stress, eye strain, and overall fatigue. If you find yourself dealing with any ailment for longer than what is deemed “normal,” (within a 2 - 3 day range), make an appointment with a physician. One of the key things in Simone’s decision not to compete was that did not feel well in the air. Continuing to compete could have caused her a serious and possibly life-threatening injury. The same could be true of the little thing that you’re choosing to ignore.
Take at least 15 minutes a day to decompress. - It may be difficult to stop all at once but you can begin to carve out time to do your version of nothing. In your down time, do an activity that you enjoy. You may decide to take a walk, listen to soothing music, turn on a podcast, complete a crossword puzzle, or spend time scrolling through social media, just to name a few things. The point is that it’s your 15 minutes to do what you want to do for you. In this regard, I need you to put up your best Auntie Maxine boundary and let anyone who seeks you out during these 15 minutes (or more) know that you are reclaiming your time. Let this become your dedicated space.
Use your sick days. - This is not a call to be irresponsible. It’s a call to use your time. Too many of us will continue to function in poor health conditions but we have the time to take off and be compensated for it. If you’re not feeling well, take a day off. This includes your physical and mental well-being. Sometimes you're exhausted because your mind is on overload. If you’ve used them all and you can swing the day without pay, do what you need to do to take care of yourself. You don’t need anyone’s permission to take care of you.
Create and stick to a routine. - Understanding that life has things that happen out of the ordinary, if you have a pattern established, it makes your day to day much easier and less stressful. In the event of an unplanned event or occurrence, you are able to think clearly instead of scrambling to take care of the needs of the situation and your daily needs.
Limit your interactions with people and/or situations that are emotionally draining. - You know these situations. The ones where you feel fine, you’re having a pretty good day and then in walks that person or you have to engage in a specific activity and now your mood is changed for the rest of the day. If you can avoid them or limit your time, you will begin to feel less of the overwhelm associated with those events and people.
This list is not the definitive list of things to do to protect your mental health. At the end of any day, you owe nothing to no one other than yourself. You deserve to live life in peace. Anyone who cannot respect or understand that needs to be removed from your inner circle. Those are the ones you deal with at length. Gone are the days where we let the woes of the world stress us out. Hand them all back their stuff and be free and beautiful you.
