The Unprotected: The Status of Black Women in America Today
Where to even begin? At almost the same damn time we hear the verdict in the trial of the man who killed George Floyd--guilty is only the beginning, what’s the sentence looking like though??--a 15-year old Black girl is gunned down by the police that her family says she called to protect her. Make it make sense! The details of the story are still being sorted but the result is still the same: a young Black girl dead. Ma’Khia Bryant,15, shot in the chest, in the street with people watching. While we are not here to dissect details of this or any other incident, we are here to provide ways and suggestions to protect our mental health.
Tiresome is not even an accurate description of what it feels like to be Black in America. To be a Black woman is a whole new level of exhaustion. We are the Unprotected. We can’t expect those who are called to protect and serve to help us by not bringing guns to a knife fight (Makhia Bryant). We can’t sit in our homes unarmed (Breonna Taylor). We can’t protect our homes and loved ones after we hear strange noises (Atatiana Jefferson). We can’t get stopped by police without getting roughed up, nor properly checked on while in police custody (Sandra Bland). And this list sadly just keeps growing.
Even in death, we are villainized. In fact, it’s been a month since her death, the funeral has taken place and the cries of “Say her name” are present but not as loud because she was “the fat girl with the knife fighting a skinny girl” so “she deserved to die.” In the eyes of some, she wasn’t a child, she was a full-grown Black woman because of her body type. At the heart of the matter is that Black women and girls are frequently devalued because they are viewed as less desirable than race, sex, and size. Being fat and Black is playing a big role in how people determine her and other girls' worth.
We are the Unprotected. We protect ourselves. We are on our guard. We take self-defense courses, we speak up, we do all the things. We all we got! And that should not be the case. Where are the allies for racism? We’re Black! Where are the feminists? We’re Women! Where are the Black folk? We come in all shades and sizes. Are we only marching for the Black man? Or for those that fit a particular skin tone, hair texture, or type? According to her teachers, this child was an honors student and had detailed plans for her future. So where are the children’s rights advocates? SHE WAS A CHILD!! Where are our protectors? Who fights for us?
It is exhausting to deal with and mentally draining to think about. Although May is specifically mental health awareness month, your mental health is important every month … EVERY DAY. If we’re honest it’s tested daily, depending on what you do and the lifestyle you live, it might even be by the minute. Here are 5 things you can do to consistently de-stress to protect your mental health.
1.Disconnect.
Easier said than done, especially in this pandemic world. Being online for many is still our primary connection to others and to life outside of where we are. Although things are beginning to open back up it’s not a bad idea to spend some time not attached to a device of any sort for any reason. Even if you only do it for a few moments a day.
2. Get some rest.
Many of us are constantly moving and doing. We move so much that when we do go to sleep it’s usually attached to a level of exhaustion as opposed to the goal of getting rest. Try setting a time of day where you are doing nothing! Just decide to rest and relax. If it leads to sleep, go to sleep. You may use this time to meditate. Have a block of time, where you have not assigned yourself a duty other than to just be.
3. Get some air.
You can choose to take a walk, go for a run, or do something as simple as sitting outside and just breathe in the air. If you can involve sunlight, even better. Sunlight boosts serotonin which betters your mood. Dealing with all the things is overwhelming, and although the circumstances may not change or cannot change, your perspective about it can. Being able to increase the oxygen levels in your brain allows you to process information better.
4. Listen to music that relaxes you.
Whether you make a playlist of your own, use or download an app specializing in relaxation or meditation, or find a YouTube channel dedicated to it, listening to music you enjoy is a way to lighten your stress level almost immediately. Allow the music to soothe and calm you.
5. Engage your support system.
This can include but is not limited to your significant other, friends, family, coach, and/or counselor/therapist. You are not an island. You do not have to face things alone. It’s a bit cliche, but we need each other. We have to create spaces for ourselves that allow us to be our best selves.
We are tired. We are over it. We are unsure. We want to stop. We cannot stop. But we can take a break and be well. We will continue to #SayHerName. We will continue to be who we need to be, but we are going to make sure above all else that we make it a priority to be who we need to be for ourselves.