The Freaky Magic of BDSM: Silencing Kink-Shamers
Freakishly good sex comes with a ton of risks, communication and trust. With February being the month associated with love, many use this time to plan out a night or more of mind-blowing sex. This might be the perfect opportunity to try some BDSM.
If you raised your eyebrow or had the side-eye, it’s ok. This might not be your thing. People should do what they are comfortable with and be able to explore things without the shame. Inquiring about BDSM is not taboo for couples who want to do something outside of the missionary position.
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again … Basic, uneventful, unsatisfying sex is a no for me dawg! Who wants to live 50 years of with basic, boring sex? Or spend time in a long term relationship that is sexually unfulfilling? Sex is fun! Sex is exciting! Sex is supposed to be a moment of shared intimacy and not just a gateway to release anatomical fluids. With the innovation of these high-risk and high-reward sexual innuendos, there’s always an opportunity to try something new and like it!
If you want to explore the wet and moan-inducing world of BDSM, here’s a quick guide you need to read.
BDSM is an abbreviation for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism. However, the sexual practices included in this kinky style aren’t limited to what is already mentioned. BDSM is an acronym that acts as an umbrella identification for sex styles like role-playing, use of sex toys, dominance, submission and many more.
Because it involves a lot of sexual activities that break away from the traditional sexual experience, here are some explanations about what is involved. It should be included that these acts, as with any other, must be done with the complete mutual consent of all parties involved.
Bondage – It is the act of restraining your sexual partner(s) while the other is given the absolute freedom to do whatever they want. This category falls under the “power play” because one of the partners takes on a dominant role while the other is glued to submission. Often, tools like handcuffs or ropes are used for bondage.
Dominance/Submission/Discipline – This is where the side eyes start. A lot of times this becomes synonymous with abuse. However, it is not. One of the key elements that breaks discipline away from harassment is consent and enjoyment. People, guided by their sexual fantasies, give their sexual partner(s) the ability to control them in bed. This is what the Dom is for. The sub, on the other hand, enjoys being vulnerable and submissive to the Dom because this is what they enjoy. However, this is where the cautious line begins to reveal itself. Be mindful that the Dom has only the right to control you in bed and/or other sexual affairs. They should not be domineering in your personal choices, professional actions and other life aspects, that he/she is not entitled to.
Sadism/Masochism – Another part of Sub/Dom sexual relationship is sadism and masochism. In this sexual act, one or all partners like experiencing pain while enjoying the intense pleasure of sex. This can involve spanking, flogging and paddling. Careful - adding pain to your pleasure requires communication to make sure that the receiver is within their threshold. Because of this, it can be beneficial to start soft and gentle and gradually increase the intensity until your partner states that they are satisfied with the intensity. This is where the introduction of safe words is needed. Commonly, sexual partners use the traffic sign colors as an indicator. Green is for “go on or continue,” “yellow” is for taking it slowly, while “red” is for stop.
We already know everything ain’t for everybody. So if this isn’t your speed that’s ok. Maybe you’re not ready for your sexual debut in that area just yet. If you are feeling a little stuck or bored in your sexacapades then it may be worthwhile to have a talk with your partner(s). Tell them what you want and how you’re feeling. Communication is key. Consent is necessary. And nothing happens without boundaries exploration. Take all of that into consideration when you start to explore. (If you’re not ready to have that talk yet, check out my blog on Annodright! We don’t have time for fake orgasms boo!!) Are you ready but not ready but ready again? Schedule a Discovery Call so you can schedule your debut into something new with your partner!