But First, Let Me Take a Selfie (Getting an Overall Picture of My Mental Health)
It is February 1st! Many are still riding high off of the first Black, South Asian, HBCU Graduate woman to have been inaugurated as the Vice President of the United States. Others are simply ecstatic to no longer have to deal with the Dump Truck. Either way, folk all around are ready for Black History month and are getting together all of our Black history moments for posting on social media. Some of us have the goal to help educate the world and further show our significance, importance, and contribution, (although as 2020 showed us, it’s not always appreciated), others aren’t doing a thang but celebrating our greatness. No matter what, we get to big-up ourselves for the next 28 days (and all year long, every year, for me)! While it’s all great it can be extremely overwhelming and exhausting. Let’s not forget the fact that January 2021 started out feeling and behaving like a continuation of 2020 (no bueno!).
On another side. February is the month set aside for love, at least the first 14 days anyway. While others may be satisfied with 14, we’re going to take the whole month to work on loving ourselves in all the things that matter. Let's start with our mental health. Mid-way through the pandemic, “mental health” became a buzz word as many started to feel the strain of sheltering in place and social distancing. Some of us are still feeling those effects and trying to work through some things. Here are 4 things that you can begin this month and then revisit monthly for your own mental health checks.
Learn to hug & touch yourself.
In my blog post COVID & Relationships: How to Make it Work, I give great detail about this as well as a nod to the resources of Dr. Zelaika Hepworth Clarke. They give great advice such as using the water of a bath to allow you to feel the sensation of being embraced or purchasing a weighted blanket. Let’s add tip 1A - A good soak in the tub or time spent in the shower with the warm/hot water and the steam is a great way to decompress and allow you to destress and unwind. Masturbation is another great way to get in touch with yourself, too!
Check-In with you.
I’ve been saying this for months, but the reminder is always needed. After you have your soothing soak or blanket time, journal or voice record your thoughts. The time to think can bring a lot to the surface. What are you avoiding? What are you hiding or running from? Are you willfully procrastinating? What are your wins? Losses? What have you found yourself overcoming recently? Take some time to sit with your thoughts and then attempt to map out the root causes and how to begin to overcome them or in the case of wins, what can you do to maintain the success of this area. This may be a bit uncomfortable because we’re so conditioned to repress everything and put on capes and just “be fine,” even and especially when we are not. If you are having difficulty trying to figure any of this out, it’s ok, there is help available for you. Click here to schedule your Discovery Call so that we can begin to help you.
BONUS RESOURCE: I like the app “ Morning Pages” for writing it out. They just want you to write out 500 words a day. Did I mention they tell you the overall mood of what you wrote? Not too shabby!
Take some time to “organize” your day.
Sometimes, some of the anxiety that we are feeling or dealing with can be associated with deadlines, real or imagined. You don’t have to have the whole day planned down to the last second, but you should realize that each day has its own purpose and you get to decide what that purpose is and how you will fulfill it. Goal Planning Baby! Not just for the long term, but for the day you have tuh-day! Think of the 3 things you want or NEED to accomplish and the amount of time it might take you to complete them. Carve out and protect that time. But here is a reminder: You are not obligated to get it all done today. If you are in-tune with yourself then you will know when you need a break. If you are not yet in the know, take the time to learn your triggers and signs that scream at you to take a break or to “Take A Mental Health Day!”
Disconnect, Decompress and De-stress
We love social media, especially since it’s become one of the primary outlets for feeling and being connected to others. However, the constant highlight reels of people living their best lives in the pandemic; of the injustices that continue to happen to people of color - especially Black folk - across the country; of the aftermath, circus, and general shit-show of 45, at some point becomes too damn much. Even the local nightly news can be overwhelming. So instead, decide on a time and a frequency to intentionally disengage. Silence the notifications, if you’re able, have a device that is social media free. Take that time to reflect, to journal, to read, something that does not involve the constant refreshing for updates or reads of long threads or the breaking news. As a matter of fact, use that time to seek out pleasure! Anything that makes you smile, feel good, and engages one or more of your 5 senses, is game! Just be sure to give your mind time to rest from all the B.S.
You cannot pour from an empty cup. Be sure to fill yours up by being intentional about loving on yourself through taking care of your mental health. How do you keep your mental health intact? Let’s talk about it in the comments.