When  working with Black and Brown clients I like to use Biggie and Tupac as a part of my communication explanation. I often ask “did you have a Tupac conversation or a Biggie conversation?”

Now I'm talking about either one of their lyrical genius, and I'm not talking about their body of music. I'm talking about how people FOREVER, even to this day, swear that Tupac is not dead. But nobody questions that for Biggie.

This beautiful baby girl with hair that looked to us to be unkempt by Eurocentric standards of beauty, had us up in arms and ready to fight. As far as I can tell, whether or not we were ready to fight the folks at H&M for being seemingly disrespectful or ready to fight other Black folk for seeming to admonish this girl, it all seemed a trauma response to me. 

 For those of you who don't know the CROWN Act is also known as Creating a Respectful and Open Workplace for Natural Hair Act. What I love about this act is that local government is actually taking steps to make sure there is inclusion, pride, and choice in the workplace. They’re making sure (well, trying) Black folk can remain Black folk even in places of business.

All my melanin sisters are walking around with a new glow and confidence because they received external validation through a song, and I can’t help but wonder why Beyonce needed to say Brown skin girls are beautiful and worthy for them to believe it!

I’m proud that we have begun embracing our natural hair and society is beginning to respond positively, but we as Black women still have work to do, because texturism is STILL a problem. There are still some things we need to work on within our own communities before being able to truly combat texturism in society.

While celebrating Pride we cannot overlook our trans brothers and sisters who are being killed in these streets. Just a few weeks ago we were sending our condolences to the family of Muhlaysia Booker, a transgender woman from Dallas who was  murdered.

To keep it simple, spectatoring takes you out of enjoying the moment or moments (if your partner knows what they’re doing) and instead of enjoying the sex for what it is, you are worried about what your body and hair looks like to your partner. It can be described as an out of body experience, you’re aware of what’s going on but, distracted and can’t focus.