Recently I had the honor of meeting with Dr. Jess for her podcast, Sex with Dr. Jess and we spoke about sexual compatibility. I don’t think it’s much of a secret that I think folk use the idea of being sexually compatible as a cop out. 

What I mean is that we often work hard as hell to NOT try but then blame everything on sexual compatibility. We will say there is no chemistry, that we feel off, and have really done no work. Now, you know that I am a whole assed sex and relationship therapist so ima give you a short run down on the tea spilt in that conversation with Dr. Jess.

Chloe Bailey recently dropped her newest single “Treat Me” along with a music video. Well, the chaste police have spoken and have found great problem with the music video and, for some, the song and style of singing as well. TikTok is full of comments including:

“You are too good to turn out like this”

“It feels awkward”

“Meanwhile Halle hasn’t lost her senses yet, she still carries herself well”

“Too much, too soon Just want to see a beautiful young lady with talent but classy”

“Not sure all this was necessary”

“Pretty tasteless”

“You’re gorgeous without doing all that”

“The industry ruined her”

😪

Sometimes people don’t even recognize their own misogynoir.

Whether it’s my clients or my friends, I constantly hear people talking about who they’re dating, and I often wonder if they're just wish dating. You know wish dating, when you wish the person you’re dating lived up to that list you made in your head.

Just because the month is coming to an end doesn’t mean that your masturbation should. So to make sure that y’all continue to show yourself a little self love all year long I wanted to give you some resources to make sure it happens.

I really wanted to talk about something that I feel is a pandemic that needs to stop. It's something that bothers me, hurts me, and makes me wonder what kind of work I and other sex therapist out here in these streets doing if this is occuring. I'm talking about...hold your breath, faking orgasms.

I wanted to dedicate a blog post to a few Black women (and women of color) whose work revolves around sexuality and are doing the damn thing. What better timing, than Women's History Month.